Hey, everybody, I’m Andrea Sieminski, and this is the Hindsight’s 2020 podcast. On this episode, I’m chatting with Jon Keur about resilience, empathy and community in the wake of a gnarly car accident that put him on the long road to physical recovery.
My name is John Keur. I am a podcast host, producer, and for fun, I am a coffee enthusiast and a vinyl collector. I mostly, though, edit and produce and publish podcasts such as this one.
Indeed! You do! Well, Jon, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for being here. As you know, the premise of the podcast is to give voice to the stories and lessons learned during 2020, and we each experienced adversity in some way, shape or form last year. Would you mind sharing your story of what happened and your period of incapacitation?
Yeah. So the thing about me with 2020 is that it was actually pretty simple, I don’t know if deal is the phrase, but it was pretty simple for both me and my wife because we’re both self-employed and we both can work from home. I can choose to work in my office, my office has a recording studio and most of my setup is at home, so when we had to make the switch to permanently be at our house, it wasn’t that hard. But the thing about me is that I unexpectedly got in a pretty severe car accident on — September 24th — was the day and I was on a moped going from – I was actually finishing up a recording session with a client of mine and I thought it’d be cool just to stop by our local coffee shop and pick up a cup for home. And while I was on my moped, I got hit by a GMC Yukon. So basically a truck without the bed.
My goodness.
Yeah. And so from that accident, I completely shattered the right side of my pelvis when I asked for my x rays. And when was it? March? This last March. So I was on a cane at that point. I asked for my x rays. They showed me like the x rays from the actual hours after the accident. You could see right through my pelvis and see the hip, the ball of my hip. So it was pretty intense. And then I also broke a bone in my wrist that they said that they chose to go ahead and work on it instead of letting it heal naturally because there would be complications if they just left it alone. Sort of like “We might as well just do it now while you’re under and about three surgeries in.”.
Oh geez.
Yeah, I think I had a total of four. There was one surprise surgery I had to take in November because one of my incisions didn’t heal right. So, that was weird, being admitted going through the admission process where the first, the actual accident, I was completely out of it. So I didn’t know, I was being admitted or anything. So. Umm, so anyways, long story long, the part that made it really complicated and on top of everything already, the thing that made it complicated and relevant to covid and 2020 in general was that, the first day for 14 days, what made it hard was, the visitors and the hours of visitation were very, very limited. And while being concussed, like going through all of that and also being just doped up on Lord knows how many drugs, I just couldn’t really understand what it meant when my wife had to leave at like eight or nine o’clock instead of her staying, however long I needed. And then when numbers were really starting to get on the up in November in our county, there was no visitation during my last surprise surgery.
So we should back up. So you are in Indiana, right?
Yep. South Bend, Indiana.
OK, awesome. And so you have your accident. You’re out of it. You probably wake up in the hospital. Right? So how long were you there after the initial accident?
Yeah, good question. I think fifteen days. I believe. Fifteen days sounds right to me.
And and so during that time you were allowed visitors but only during visiting hours.
Yeah. Which I mean as normal. But the fact that they wouldn’t even allow my wife to be there with me like post visitation hours is what the hard part was.
Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So what is this — tell me about the surprise surgery? Did you have all of those first three surgeries when you first got admitted?
Yeah. So there was an initial stabilization surgery. So basically “Let’s bring him in, get everything under control. And just like if he moves, it won’t be like a bigger issue than what it could be.” So, like, I barely remember this part. The only thing I really remember is when they carted me out for my second surgery and the guy was having the hardest time getting my bed, like out of the room with a broken leg and hip, they kept just trying to shove me through a doorway. So there was the initial stabilization surgery and then there was the first actual surgery where they worked on — and I’m probably gonna — my wife’s going to listen to this and she’s gonna be like, “No, that’s not right.” But I’ll, I’ll do my best to remember. They had to put a rod in my shin, like, right underneath my kneecap because there was a clear break right at the top. They call it the tip of my — the plateau of my tibia or something like that. Like basically it’s the bone right underneath my kneecap. And then they had to get like the front part of my pelvis and they had to get through a couple of different spots to get to it, to reform it. And then my third surgery, which was my last one from that initial 15 days or whatever it was to get like whatever was left. So my wrist and my backside and a couple of, like, odd and end spots for my pelvis.
Gosh.
Yeah it was fun. Not really. And then the last one, the surprise one was basically so like, I have in relevance to my pelvis, I have three different incisions and the front side one. So the one that basically rests right on my pelvis, on my front, they took out the staples like too soon, I think is how it worked. And so, like, what didn’t close that we really couldn’t see, like progressively opened up more and more. And they were afraid that I was like getting infected and that it could be like the skin is really close to the bone. So they thought maybe the infection could actually get to the bone and it would be much more severe an infection than just like, “oh, your mosquito bite that you scratch, like, more and more infected, like whatever just take this over the counter stuff.” Like this was like, no, it could get to the bone. And it could be a lot worse than a simple like over the counter stuff. And so they call it like an I&D – that’s basically where they try to scrape out anything that could be infected, reseal it up, staple it again. And you let it last for like a week or two. So.
So what did all of this do to you, John? I mean, you’re riding home after, like a fulfilling day of work, grabbing a coffee, which is one of your passions. And your life just changed. Just changed.
Yeah, that’s a great question. So thankfully, my concussed self was able to figure out that I needed to contact certain people. My wife has a photo of me facetiming with my sister telling her, like, “Email these people. Make sure you get in contact with these people. Make sure you tell my two editing contractors this and this.” And like, just I don’t know I….
You kind of flipped it into like list making mode a little bit.
Yeah, like my subconscious self basically is a very big admin expert, which is amazing because sometimes I feel like that’s not the case right now. And basically, like one of my contract editors, he basically was me and he even FaceTime me a couple of times. And he’s like, “Hey, can you make sure to give me this and this?” I’m like, “Oh yeah, for sure.” And some family members were able to like, get me my computer when I was able to actually like, comprehend and be like sensical or whatever and.
Sure.
I basically worked while I was in the hospital.
You know, for some people, that’s what it takes, right? To like, get through this incredibly hard thing.
Oh, yeah.
It’s interesting how we all have our different coping mechanisms.
Yeah. Like, I’m very prone to burnout. And so, like, I have very set, like working schedule times throughout my day. And I mean, if I need to work over the clock, I’m all about making sure that the final product is done. But I mean, I’m prone to burnout, like it happens pretty quickly. And so thinking on it, like I thought I would be more of like I’m going to do absolutely nothing until I can walk. But no, I needed my work to get me through that time because otherwise I’d dwell way too much in the now and I feel like that would take me to a pretty dark place. So, yeah, I mean, if it wasn’t for my sister and my content editor specifically with this kind of context, I feel like I probably would get really lost. I only lost, like two clients, but I wouldn’t really call it lost. It was more like they — I mean, yeah, workwise. I lost, but I mean, they still kept in contact. They wanted to make sure I was doing and we were pretty well on the same page after I said, “Hey, I’m back in action, ready to go whenever you are.” And they’re like, “Oh well since your accident we found someone else. We’re in a pretty good routine.” And I was like, “Oh, cool. I’m glad you found someone that works well for you. That’s amazing.” And I said, “Let me know if you need any help.” And they still had some like back end questions on their podcast that they trust me with and we’re still on good terms.
And then that made room for me to become your client!
That’s actually super true. Who’s our mutual acquaintance? He was like my first.
Chris.
Yeah. He was my first new client since the accident. And he was so cool about everything. And yeah, that connection was incredible.
Yeah. There you go. Out of those two that you’re not working with in the same capacity, you got two new amazing clients.
Seriously. Yeah. If it wasn’t for the accident, I bet we probably wouldn’t be in contact.
You’ve gotta reframe it.
Yeah.
So OK, so you’re now like when you go home like what sort of rehab are you looking at. Like how did, how did all that work.
So while I was in the hospital the first time, basically all of my close family members like my parents and sister and brother in law and my wife’s family, they got together and they created — so quickly explaining the way my house is situated. It sits along an alley like an angle. And to get to our front door, you need to, like, take, you need to go into the alley a little bit, take two steps up, and then there’s like this long sidewalk. It’s a very unusual looking yard, and then you take like another two steps to get on the porch and then you’re in. So my
Those four steps have never been..
An issue. Yeah.
Yeah.
And so they made this huge ramp that basically extends from the porch to those two steps. I got my grandmother’s like ramp to get down the last two flights and then you would have to wheelchair me up our alley to get to my car. So they made from scratch like a huge ramp and they got like another really heavy duty metal ramp. And then they re-did our main floor bathroom that’s like a very, very small half bath. And they reformed it into, like, you know, those all in one bathrooms where there’s like a shower and a toilet. And it’s all kind of like everything is in this tiny, it’s a basically full bathroom, but it’s in like a tiny teeny tiny like what should be just a toilet is a bathroom, but it’s like a full decked out full bath.
Nice!
Yeah. We got a full bath out of the deal.
So they go into like uber like OK we gotta…. when he comes home — you’re in a wheelchair. This is going to be for an extended amount of time presumably. So we need to like redo everything and make this ground floor accessible.
Yeah.
This is where he’s going to be living because I assume you have an internal staircase that leads to like the bedrooms upstairs or something. So they have to redo everything.
Yeah, all of our bedrooms and our main full bath is upstairs and no less even if I could have gotten up to the second stairway like our bathroom, we have an old, like, old fashioned bear claw tub. So like, there’s no way I’d even be able to, like, hoist myself in there. Yeah. So they basically looked at the situation like, “OK, well, how do we reform this house into what could be like a handicap accessible home,” even though it’s like the furthest from — because it’s an old fashioned like it was built in 1908 house. And so everything’s very narrow and very compartmentalized. Nothing’s like an open floor plan. And the goal. The other big goal for it is our insurance couldn’t afford me to go to an in-house rehab facility in our local area. I would have had to have gone to Grand Rapids, Michigan, which is like a two and a half hour car ride, and who knows how long I would have had to have been there. So they really tried to make sure that I could get to my home and do it safely. So.
So are you still living on that first floor?
Yeah, we keep talking about moving back up to the second floor. I mean, I’m recording in my home office. That’s on the second floor right now. And me and my wife just re-did our finished attic into like a fun little living space just for fun, actually, like a week ago. So, like, I can get around. I’m walking for like three miles now with my dog. And so we’re, we’re like, good. I think the only reason why we haven’t moved back to the second floor is because there’s like no good AC system and the summer’s coming. So I don’t want to melt up here. And I don’t feel like setting up our AC unit, so we just decided to stay downstairs for the summer.
Got it.
But yeah.
Well, so you kind of touched very briefly saying “If it weren’t for my work, I would have gone to a dark place” So kinda talk to me about mental health stuff that was going on after the accident or even before, just like everything going on in the world in 2020. How did all of that come up for you?
Yeah, so my mentality, the way that, like, my mentality tends to operate, like I’m still a pretty young person, I would say, so my like, I still have this whole you know, “I’m still young and spry, like I’m invincible. I can do whatever I want,” whatever. And this was a pretty strong wake up call, like. “Oh, like. Life definitely is very finite,” and like I definitely would say that my accident, I kind of like I don’t know if I wasn’t in the if I didn’t like land from that hit a certain way and I didn’t get help as soon as I did, I feel like. Things could have been a lot worse and I kind of dwelled on that factor quite a bit. When I got home and I was still on the mend and I saw the bike and I was able to start thinking about what reality is. I think that’s kind of when it really started to hit me. What mortality really is, and I definitely had a bit of some shock here and there, like, you know, like, “Oh, I actually could have died” and thinking back on it, like, I definitely had a couple of like I think there were three moments where I came to from my complete concussion, like the point between when I got hit, when I finally realized, like, I’m in the hospital, I’m on the bed, I have family members visiting me, that period of like just blacking out. There were like three moments where I came to and I very barely remember those like blacked out moments. I still don’t even remember, like, the actual moment of when I got hit. I’ve had a couple of flashbacks and I don’t try to dwell on it too much because that would really freak me out. In fact, I did have a couple of panic attacks from that in the middle of the night, which was not enjoyable. But getting back to your question, I think the thing, I dunno, it kind of really woke me up to what it means to have, like, this lifetime, I guess. I don’t know if that makes sense or not. And in terms of like relation to 2020, I don’t mean to like, gloat about this, but I’m kind of glad I got like, if this, all things considered, like the accident was horrible. It wasn’t fun for anyone else who’s gotten in an accident like this. It’s not a fun situation. I totally get it. Not belittling it, but like, I’m kind of glad it happened when it did because, like, I’m kind of stuck inside anyways, if that makes sense.
No, it does. It’s like – it’s not like everyone, you know is out and about at concerts or whatever. Yeah. If ever there was going to be a time to be homebound – it was now.
Yeah. Like it happened basically on the cusp of winter. My recovery was during winter. So like between Covid and wintertime, like everyone’s in the house. So of all the times to do it like it’s pretty great but the recovery wasn’t fun.
It wasn’t a picnic.
Yeah. Oh yeah. Definitely not a walk in the park. I mean I couldn’t even walk in the park so…
So not only did life change for you in that moment and you know, your, your wife and your family are not in this recording, but, you know, their lives change too. And then everybody’s roles change, I guess. And what, if any, sort of long term impact or maybe the lessons or life changes that you made that maybe you weren’t planning to but for this accident and how you now sort of relate to the world and you interact with the people in your life after this experience?
Yeah. I would say probably the biggest thing that we’re kind of on the lookout for right now between my wife and I is what’s the long term recovery going to be like in terms of — so like right now I’m walking, I’m anticipating going out like boating this summer. I’m planning on going to like Chicago or Detroit to see and visit family members and doing the normal thing. I’m planning on going to concerts when Covid lifts and a concert venue isn’t just an incubator for the virus. I’m planning on living normally. But what I mean by a long term recovery is like take, for instance, the fact that even though, like, my pelvis is reconstructed, the like joint or where the ball of my hip sits was also reconstructed. So like it can it’s kind of like a really jank pot hole where, like, if I lift my leg too high, I can kind of feel like kind of click out and click back in, I mean, that’s a clear sign that arthritis will happen and I will have to get a hip replacement. So, like, what does that look like? Or what if there’s an off chance that, you know, I took a turn too quickly or like I hit a bump too hard, like, you know, while boating or something like that. And all of a sudden my hip is just screaming at me and I’m in pain. Like, thankfully, walking around isn’t the biggest deal in the world. And thankfully, like I live a pretty sediment lifestyle because of what I do for work. But so, like, we’re not on red alert, but like we just have to be ready for like, “Oh, we should probably go get this checked out and go to the hospital. Oh, we need to do physical therapy all over again because of the hip replacement” and I mean, I guess.
Well also just like thinking about going out on the boat, like you do get bumped around. So now you have to. You have to do an analysis.
Yeah, yeah, I guess, yeah, that’s actually a good way of summarizing what I’m trying to say. Like we need to be not always on red alert, but, yeah, we have to think it through a little bit more what our lifestyle looks like or, you know, playing with our dog in the backyard. Like I can’t run around with it or we don’t have kids yet. But what if we do? I’d have to be careful, not just, you know, like I can’t run around in the backyard with them or go to the park and, like, climb this or do that with them, like as crazy as I’d like to be. So I guess to summarize, like, just we have to yeah, “analysis” is a really good word for it. Just be a little bit more critical than careless like, you know, kind of like what I was saying earlier. I’m not invincible like I thought I was, you know.
It’s a very humbling experience. An accident, right?
Yeah. Oh, for sure. I mean, I can’t – one thing I was going to say too – just if I’ve learned anything about me and my wife’s relationship is that she really does truly love me putting up with all the stuff I had to do and act and be when I was in recovery mode. And, you know, while our bathroom was being remodeled while I was home, which was a tree in its own right on my word, that was very humbling. I’m not going to delve into that too much, but I’ll just say it was a very humbling experience.
Well, I want to hear more about this. Delve into it.
OK, well, I mean, first of all, I couldn’t climb up the stairs to my bathroom, right. But our bathroom on the main floor was in a remodel mode, so I had to use that that a toilet seat thing where like a tub, like you go to the bathroom, the bucket
Oh yeah, your wife changes roles from not only wife, but she’s caretaker, nurse.
Oh, yeah.
She’s seeing you in maybe ways that, you didn’t expect
Yeah, sponge baths were nice. But I felt so bad! Yeah.
That’s what the vows are for.
Oh, yeah. In sickness and in health. Yeah. So just stuff like that. I mean definitely humbling for sure. For sure.
When you don’t have complete control of your own body that’s very hard. And to give yourself over to. And so I think it’s hard for most people to admit they need help and or ask for help, so to be forced into a position. It takes some getting used to, I would think.
Yeah, I mean, when I was laying on the when I was like every morning when I’m laying on the bed and I need to, like, hoist myself up and turn and then somehow get into the wheelchair from my bed, like when I just didn’t have like when atrophy kicked in and I couldn’t tell my leg to move and it would move. She’s like, “do you need help?” And I’m like, “no, I want to see if I can try to do it.” And she’s like, “well, don’t be a hero about it. Like if you need help, ask for it.” I’m like, “no, no, I got it.” And then five minutes later, while she’s like making coffee, like, “all right. I think I need help.” She’s like, “yeah, I know.” So yeah.
But she waited for you to come around, that’s good.
Yeah, yeah.
Well out of this, I mean when we were prepping for this, you kind of highlighted like a few areas that you wanted to touch on. And the last one was sort of silver linings and building community resilience, finding hope and picking up the pieces. So I think that might be a nice place to sort of end this. I’m not sure what you wanted to reflect on there, but I would love to hear your thoughts.
I think the thing that I really have been wanting to take away from this and really want to dwell in is that there’s both sides to this story for me. So I’ve been really like stewing in the idea of like, how is that — so the person who hit me was the lady who I can’t remember her name off the top of my head, but like I haven’t seen her, I haven’t met her, haven’t heard, like, how she’s doing. And the biggest thing has been like, it’s a two sided coin and I cannot for the life of me, imagine what it would be like to be in her position to, like, hit someone and like just how fast that can go for her as well. And I’ve been feeling really that vibe lately, like “just how is she doing?” And I feel like a lot of people get, like, super angry about, “oh, while I’m in the wrong, I want to be done right by this” and like I like I do like medical bills are crazy. I saw our final bill for all of this and good grief, like I need help from that – so contact your insurance company and that’s been a nightmare. I can’t even, I feel like that’d be a whole episode in its own right. Oh my gosh. So like yeah. I mean, I do want what’s due – but more so just because I need help to pay my bills. But just that emotional toll like, you know, just the thing I want to take away from all this is just like it’s a two sided story. And it’s not just all about me. Like, I just feel super bad for her, too.
Yeah. Now, this is really interesting.
Mm hmm.
Hopefully you have a therapist that you can talk to about this because I do think it’s really interesting, I mean, you were really injured and to be able to feel empathy and put yourself in the driver who hit you. I mean, there’s got to be something like this is part of the process. There’s got to be something to this to help you sort of you’ve got to go through it. You can’t go around that. But I think that shows you have this capacity for.
Yeah, yeah. I think I don’t know. It’s just you can only be well no, some people can be, but for, from my perspective like you can only say for so long, like, you know, “I’m mad. I want what’s done right.” And I mean there are some very, very specific circumstances where I’m sure that I mean, I work on a True Crime podcast, so I mean, I hear about families and all that stuff all the time. So, like, they can definitely look for the justice they need for as long as they need, but. I don’t know this particular context, it’s like I mean, my hip is fine, I’m walking around like it’s definitely not as easy as it was when I was like four years old, but, like, I gotta move on and I gotta enjoy life until I mean, that’s part of what I was saying earlier. You know, life is finite. You got to enjoy it while you can. And that’s super duper cliche. But now, after I’ve experienced this kind of stuff, like it is a cliche for a reason, so.
Right, exactly.
Yeah. So, like, what else do you gripe about? Well, “I hope she’s all right now.” So.
No, it’s interesting. I mean, it’s kind of like you said, you were talking about it in the context of Covid like having to be homebound. But I also think and I talked about this with Chris when I did his podcast, neither one of us would have changed the experience of having cancer, which sounds like a ridiculous thing to say. But the point is, like it helps you to realize so much more that you wouldn’t have without the experience. So I think, like, you are feeling those same sorts of things about your accident.
Yeah, like my appreciation for I mean, not even not saying I didn’t love my wife before the accident, but like my appreciation for her and her patience is just mind blowing to me now. My appreciation for her family. I mean, me and my in-laws are very, very close. But just that appreciation is much more realized now. My appreciation for my personal family, everything is just elevated now, even more so. And it’s mind blowing to me. And I feel like, correct me or whatever if I’m wrong, but I feel like you would feel the same way, too, with you and your circumstance. Like just the appreciation overall has been elevated just significantly, because you’ve seen that when, again, another cliche, but when the going gets tough, like you really do, see, who are your friends and who really do matter to you with like, interrupting myself here, but I cannot believe the people who visited me in the hospital and post hospital like it’s just crazy how. Yeah.
It becomes very clear.
Yeah. My wife and I attend this church locally and just like the meal train that they set up for people to provide meals, like just we were fed until Thanksgiving and the thing happened in September. Actually no, even into December, so we did not need to use our, like, food budget, grocery budget for quite a while, so people are just crazy helpful and yeah, it’s mind blowing that it takes this kind of thing to occur for you to really understand that type of appreciation. But, yeah, you wouldn’t change it for anything. Like, I would agree to that. I mean, it sucks, but I mean, it already happened. So, yeah. You’ve got to find that silver lining, right?
Yeah. I also think, like, for me, you know, you’re talking about the meal train and everything, and I’m sure you’ve participated in the meal train for somebody else before, but never really thought twice about it. And now I think going forward, when you do stuff like that, it’s going to be that much more meaningful.
Yeah.
Because you were on the receiving end. So I think you’ll take even more joy in helping your community as you go forward because you felt it. And there’s something really beautiful about that too.
Yeah, we were talking about that with giving. So for our church, like, you know, the whole tithing system that happens when we reached out to both our church that we grew up in, when we lived in Michigan, when we were kids, our home church and the church here, like we just thought, yeah, well, just passively ask, like, you know, if they have anything to help provide for our medical bills. And they did. And I was like, “oh my gosh. Like the whole tithing thing. Like, should we give like a ton more back?” We were very just ecstatic about the giving that they gave back to us for that. Yeah our appreciation for giving to our church and providing our perspective on that. Our paradigm on that has definitely shifted quite a bit, I would say. So, I mean, we gave or we do give and we also give our time. So we’re like a part of that congregational structure during Sunday mornings. But again, like what we’re talking about with appreciating that definitely elevated that perspective, definitely elevated quite a bit.
Well, out of something seemingly crappy. You managed to find good in it, so.
Mm hmm.
2020 was shit for so many.
Oh, yeah!
I’m glad it’s over. I’m glad it’s behind us. I’m glad you’re on the mend, you know. I wish I could take your accident away, but like you said, you can’t. So I’m glad that you are, you know, standing in these lessons and taking the good away from it.
Oh, yeah. I mean, my mantra for 2020 was “breaking bones and breaking records.” So super duper true, right?
Well, thank you so much for sharing your story. Thanks for tuning in to Hindsight’s 2020. I hope you leave feeling more connected and able to see your own silver linings. If you enjoyed this episode, please take a few minutes to subscribe rate and review the podcast on iTunes. Special thanks to my sound engineer John Keur of Wayfare Recording. We can’t do any of this without your support. Follow us on Instagram @hindsights2020podcast and join the conversation at Hindsight’s 2020 Podcast on Facebook.
ABOUT JON KEUR:
After studying broadcasting and general audio production at Cedarville University (Cedarville, OH), Jon had the opportunity to learn directly from music industry professionals at The Contemporary Music Center in Nashville. Jon established Wayfare Recording Company and enhanced his skills over his five years in Nashville, and now resides in South Bend, Indiana where he continues to help push the city forward through creativity and innovation.
In addition to technical skills, Jon has demonstrated exceptional work ethic, communication, and organization. Outside of the world of music, Jon enjoys collecting vinyl records (currently 300 albums and counting) and is also an avid coffee lover who enjoys experimenting with various blends and brewing techniques.
